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Wednesday, November 12, 2008


dear bill-

it's 2 days away from the two year mark of your death. i can't believe it's been two years.

i had a dream with you in it last nite. i was telling you my nanny passed away and that i had to leave early. we were making bouquets. and i was taking one to her.

i don't know why i dreamt of the two of you together. maybe because it's almost 2 years since you left. and maybe because my life has gone through so many changes and i wish you and nanny were still here.

i wish i could show nanny my house. she'd love it. a bungalo. a cement backyard.
nothing like the house i had when she left.

i wish i could invite you to the wedding, bill. you could do your crazy dance and do your crazy flip. even if we didn't have music, you would dance. Sometimes, when I'm home and doing a crazy dance, I wonder if I always did my crazy dancing. Or did I learn it from you? I'm not sure.

my mom says everything happens for a reason. i don't agree. i think somethings happen for a reason.

and you dying, isn't one of them.



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