Change

I was driving home tonite, thinking about the drastic changes my life has taken over the past few years. Sometimes, I feel like I've been where I am my whole life. But then other times, I feel like I just arrived here yesterday.

Sometimes you think your world has ended. That you'll never get back up or be who you were. But then you do get back up. But, you are never who you were. How could you be? Of course your different.

Everything about my life is different. My relationship, my job, my home. The amount of time I spend with my family. My hobbies, my hopes, my dreams. Everything is different.

I used to get my hair colored every 6 weeks. Now I get my hair colored every six months. How weird to me now, that my hair color took such priority.

I used to shop in Ann Taylor. And now the thought of that store bores me. The clothes are stuffy and dry. So tailored. So perfect. So not me.

And I'm not saying I don't care about my looks. I do. Believe me I do. I worry about my skin. My teeth. My bones. Much more than I used to.

I used to shop for hours. Now, it's the last thing I want to do. The thought of it tires me. If I can buy it online, I will. I'd rather do something else with that time. Like play with pictures, and make jewelry, and draw. Or read a book. Or take a nap. Or just sit and think.

Some things stayed the same. I get excited over coffee. And snacks. I still love my pajamas and my furry kids. I adore my mother. She's my best friend. I still cry over nothing and laugh over nothing. And sometimes I'm a grump and there is nothing you can do about it.

I dream. Different dreams. But I dream.

I hate to drive.

I worry.

I wish my brother would let me love him a little more than he does.

And, I love people who are different.

People who want to talk. Share their story.
People who are real, and sometimes messy and flawed. Those are usually my favorite types of people. Because, they are like me. I get them.

Have I changed or has my life changed? I have to think about that one.