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Thursday, April 30, 2009

The Present

I think one of the scariest parts of losing someone you love, is not having them in your future.

I'm sad thinking that my aunt won't be here for the days ahead of us. She deserved to be here. To see her grandchildren graduate high school. Her niece get married. Her daughter raise her own daughters.

If I would have known the last time we were together, was going to be our last time together, I would have held her hand and begged her not to leave. I would have asked her to stay in that moment. And for life to pause right there.

I think I've spent most of my life wanting to go back and change my past.
The other half I've spent worrying about the future.

I've missed alot of the present by not living in the now. And I'm sorry for that.

I'm sorry Aunt Angie. I wish I would have enjoyed more "now" with you.


Anonymous said...

Oh Jenn...I'm so sorry. We are trying so hard to enjoy the moments now rather than worry about the lost moments or the future where Seths father won't be there. I can relate to what you're going through and my heart goes out to you.

suziart said...

Lovely! She looks just lovely! Try not to be so hard on yourself. She must have been a wonderful woman and was loved so deeply.