365 days may seem like a lot,
But it's not really.
If felt like one spin on a tea cup.
I saw divorce through the eyes of a sister.
It looks different.
Clearer in some ways,
But cloudier in others.
Confusing just the same.
But, I can see the rhyme and the reason,
And I get it.
In a sort of parental type of way.
Wanting the best for him.
Worrying for him.
Watching him fall.
And waiting for him to get back up and jump over the puddles, even though he'll get splashed by the water.
But knowing, in my heart of hearts, the water will dry when he finds his towel and underneath the drops of water will be a different man.
I've seen death through the eyes of a niece.
It's mean and it's painful and it burns and pierces your skin.
Soothing moments come, but they quickly turn to reminders of your loss.
I feel confused.
Where is she?
Why do I feel like she is still here?
Is it because I didn't get to say goodbye or is it because I refuse to let her go?
I saw my wedding through the eyes of wife.
Not necessarily as a bride.
I didn't care about my dress or my hair.
I didn't care about what anyone else thought.
Except for him and I.
I was there, fully that day.
I saw my husband. His gratitude, his heart and his soul.
We were simply happy.
I was determined to be my own photographer. See the day in my eyes.
But, I took so few real photographs.
I was so in the moment and taking the pictures in my mind and placing them in my heart that I didn't remember to pick up the camera as much as I should have.
I was so busy being in the moment, I forgot to spectate.
So most of the photos, are the flashback photos I see in my mind when I look back on the day.
Not one frame has to be cropped or edited.
The focus and clarity are perfect.
I've walked away.
I've been hurt.
I've been adored.
I've seen beauty.
I've seen real ugly.
I've been silly.
And I've been sad.
Through the eyes of one girl, in one year.
I wonder, what have your eyes seen?