Sunday, April 18, 2010
Today Was Not a Day That Was Good
Our cat ran away. Our little Phoebe. Gone.
It's cold out. It's dark out. And she's never spent a night out on her own. What will she eat? Will the other cats fight her? She is still a kitten. Oh, I hope they aren't mean to her.
We got Phoebe from a breeder. A breeder who was not very nice. We realized that about him, after we got her home. She fears people. Everything about them. And even though she has been with us since last Septemember, she always looked at us as if she just met us. If we picked her up, she'd hiss. She scratch. She wasn't mean, she was was fearful. The poor kitty was scared of human contact of any kind.
Tom and I tried working with her one on one...to build trust. We didn't notice any change. The only time Phoebe seemed to not fear us, was when we sat with her on a lounge chair in the backyard. She seemed to forget her fear of us, when we would sit with her outdoors. Well, today, we were both outside on our lounge chairs, when she jumped off Tom's lap and ran. Tom followed through two backyards. But, as she climbed the third fence, and Tom when to grab for her, she bit down on Tom's hand and pierced four holes in his skin. He had no choice but to let go, because she wouldn't, and at that moment, she took off.
We have been searching for her for the past 10 hours. No Phoebe.
At about 8 o'clock tonite, we took our cat, Charlie, on a search for her. She loves Charlie, so we thought if she heard him, she'd come to us. So here we go, two adults, walking with a a 20 pd cat in the dark. Make a long story short, we found a cat. Thought it was Phoebe, in the dark(we thought she let us pick her up because she was scared). Could not believe the miracle that had just found us....and then discovered(once we came inside), we had taken someone else's cat. Needless to say no one was happy. Not us or the cat that had been mistakenly carried around the block.
So, it's 10:30pm. And no Phoebe. I feel so sick inside. She is an odd cat. Doesn't want us to love her, or love us. But still, we can't help ourselves. We love her. She ours. She's part of family. Our team. And we know she is doing the best that she can, and we love her for that.
How do you get a cat that doesn't like people to come home? Does she even know we are home? Does she know how to get back?
As I sit here, unshowered and puffy eyed, I realize, even more, that family is family, no matter what. Even if they reject you, you stay hopeful. Even if they don't show you love, you know it's there. And when one of your family members walk away...it's hurts. And it hurts even more when you fear they won't come home.
I love my little monkey girl(that is what I call her) and pray and hope and wish she finds her way home.
We are waiting here for you, Phoebe girl. xoxoxo