Awareness

Whenever someone I know dies, it causes me to reflect on my own life, in a critical manner.

Am I in the moment? Tom has taught me the value of awareness but sometimes I know I am five places at once. Aren't we all?

Do I love enough? I have a lot of love, but do I show it? I hope I do, but I'm sure it's not enough.

Am I grateful? Of course I am. But am I REALLY grateful? I'm lucky for so many reasons, but still I moan and groan because of stupid things.

Life is so fragile. Sooo fragile. I'm trying to be more aware of that. Maybe if I'm more aware, I will take life less for granted.

Right now, I'm sitting on the floor, sorting beads. My screen door is open and there is a fresh breeze blowing through. My bosses dog is on my lap, my cat and dog are next to me. I'm totally surrounded by love.

I know I could just consider this an ordinary night, but I won't. Tonight is special. I am right where I want be. Surrounded by the things that I love. And maybe the mango I just ate was a little too tart...but does that really matter?

Not tonite.