I have always had a thing for "ugly" pumpkins.
I never pick the round, perfect pumpkins that are easy to draw on. I'm never drawn to them.
My Mom would say, why do you pick the "ugly" pumpkins. I would say, because those are the ones that make the greatest faces.
Of course no pumpkin is "ugly". She means weird. Different. The non-conforming pumpkins. The ones that will probably still be on the pumpkin field two days before Halloween.
Yes, those are for me.
I don't create a world for myself that involves perfection. Everything is a little off. I don't mind an occasional hole in the wall, because I didn't put the frame in the right spot, and had to do it over. I don't mind the imperfections in my ceiling, because my house is truly old. It's ok. These things are proof that people live and houses age.
I surely wouldn't be the perfect pumpkin. You would never catch me in my bathing suit, without shorts on. My hair is usually in need of a coloring. I'm moody. I can be fragile. I often talk based on emotion, rather than thought. I've made messes. I've been sick. I have half my womenly parts. I'm fearful. Sarcastic. And drink too much coffee and eat too much chocolate.
But truth is, I wouldn't change a thing about who I am. Sure, we would all change things in our past if we could...but we can't. We can, however, create the who we are right now.
I am drawn to the "ugly" pumpkins, because I feel they are they most beautiful. The flaws add character. I feel comfortable around them and they always seem to fit the faces I create in my mind.
And let's face it, if the world was filled with perfect pumpkins, it wouldn't be much fun.