I have always had a thing for "ugly" pumpkins.
I never pick the round, perfect pumpkins that are easy to draw on. I'm never drawn to them.
My Mom would say, why do you pick the "ugly" pumpkins. I would say, because those are the ones that make the greatest faces.
Of course no pumpkin is "ugly". She means weird. Different. The non-conforming pumpkins. The ones that will probably still be on the pumpkin field two days before Halloween.
Yes, those are for me.
I don't create a world for myself that involves perfection. Everything is a little off. I don't mind an occasional hole in the wall, because I didn't put the frame in the right spot, and had to do it over. I don't mind the imperfections in my ceiling, because my house is truly old. It's ok. These things are proof that people live and houses age.
I surely wouldn't be the perfect pumpkin. You would never catch me in my bathing suit, without shorts on. My hair is usually in need of a coloring. I'm moody. I can be fragile. I often talk based on emotion, rather than thought. I've made messes. I've been sick. I have half my womenly parts. I'm fearful. Sarcastic. And drink too much coffee and eat too much chocolate.
But truth is, I wouldn't change a thing about who I am. Sure, we would all change things in our past if we could...but we can't. We can, however, create the who we are right now.
I am drawn to the "ugly" pumpkins, because I feel they are they most beautiful. The flaws add character. I feel comfortable around them and they always seem to fit the faces I create in my mind.
And let's face it, if the world was filled with perfect pumpkins, it wouldn't be much fun.
1 comment:
Jenn, I think we might be cosmic twins or something. :) Just as you pick the imperfect pumpkins, I am always picking the "Charlie Brown Christmas Trees". You know, the crooked ones with bald spots that nobody wants?
But truth is, I wouldn't change a thing about who I am. Sure, we would all change things in our past if we could...but we can't. We can, however, create the who we are right now.
Amen to that, sister!
It has taken me many years (and lots of therapy!) to see things from your point of view, but it is something I am always working on! I have been blogging over on LiveJournal for a handful of years, and my username over there is "prfctlyimprfct". Because like the ugly pumpkins and the ghetto Christmas trees, underneath everything, it's all good. :)
And with that said, I will stop commenting on your blog for tonight, lest you think I'm some kind of weirdo or stalker. Or something. I promise I am neither...but I am so intrigued by you and can't wait to get to know you better! :)
xo
Angie
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