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Tuesday, June 23, 2009

4 Days

I can't believe we are getting married in 4 days! 4 days!

I still have no dress, but that's ok...for some reason it doesn't seem to be upsetting me like I would think it would. Maybe that's because I am just damn happy to be marrying such a fine fellow.

It's almost like I am living this wedding through two sets of eyes, mine and his. Tom hasn't been married before, I I think I have a different perception of the day. I sort of know what goes on, so I don't have any anxiety about the actual day....just excitement. And therefore, I am almost able to watch this wedding thru him.

Getting married twice, you have a different view of things. Now, I know it's not about the dress, the cake or the music. It's only about the two of you. And I think if you concentrate on that, and make each other a priority, not the rest of the world....your marriage will be off to a good start.

I think I feel slightly saddened by the fact that when you get married for a second time, people do the comparison thing. They either feel that your not doing enough, or that since you did it already you don't have the right to do it again. I just want to say, it's two different things. Two different days. When my friend gets married for the second time this August, I will be sure to be sensitive to this.

Your past made you who you are today. And so in a way, yes, your first marriage does play a part. But, it's your past. And everyone deserves a new start. Fresh hope. A new day. Your dreams are different. Your future is different. And you are different. Shouldn't the day be different?

I'm happy for my past, my present and my future. And that will be part of my day. But I do not look at this like a second marriage. I look at this as a first marriage to a man named Tom. Because that it was it is.

If I wanted to have the fancy dress, I could have. If I wanted to have a $400,000 wedding, I should have. Nothing about this day is less. Or second.

Everything about this first.

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