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Friday, October 2, 2009

The Writings of A Gypsy Soul

So, I've decided to change the title of my blog. For lots of reasons.

I'm not going to change the link though, that is just too confusing.

But, I have done some changing and growing since this blog began and I've decided the blog title should change with me.

It was, I'm Still Me Just Better.

Why?

After years of traveling through life with a suitcase filled
of feelings I never allowed to see daylight, I decided to set them free. And with that, I emptied that suitcase, and with that, freed myself.

I'm still me, just better.

As my daily life is inspired by both my old suitcase and my new journey, so is the blog.

But, when I started this blog, I was still in transition.

Still healing. Still sorting. And still scared.

But now, although I'm still healing, still sorting, and still scared(and always will be)....I have started to fill my suitcase my happy thoughts. Beautiful memories and sweet gifts that I never believed in before.

I've emptied the suitcase. Fixed what I could. And I've decided to deal, day by day, with everything else that feels heavy.

Sure, I'm still me...just better. When I say better, I don't mean I have super powers or anything. My soul is better. Healthier. Happier. And it feels encouraged.

I'm not who I thought I was. Or who I tried to be.

I have a gypsy soul. You can't measure my soul or keep it grounded, because it can't be contained. It wants to move around.

And I don't mean physically. I'm happy where I am.

But my soul bounces. My passions change. I'm open minded. I'm listening. I want to know more.

I'm not conventional. I'm impulsive when it comes to to things you can be impulsive with. But, I am also not impulsive when it comes to things in my life that I know I don't want to change.

I've seen heartache. Sickness. Loss. Struggle. Pain. But, I've also seen lots of beauty.

And I've learned what really matters.

It's about loving today, being hopeful about tomorrow, learning from the past and forgiving yourself and others.

It's about smiling because you can't help it, not smiling to pretend things are ok.

It's about not settling. Believing your worth more.

Making messes. And learning as you mop them up.

It's about paying your dues and seeing the light. And sometimes the very dark.

It's about figuring out who you are ...and learning who your not. As you go. With no handbook. No workbook. Just tests. Lots of tests.

My Mom emailed me the other day and said, are you really happy? My first response was to rattle off all the things I'm happy about. But then I thought, is that what she really asked me?

She asked me if I was happy, not what I am happy about.

So Mom, yes, I am happy. My soul is happy.

For the first time in my life, this gypsy soul, is the most grounded and the most free she has ever been.

3 comments:

Julie-ann Bowden said...

Oh wow, so deep. Truly enjoyed reading this post. So pleased you can say your happy. In a deep way, happy. Happy with you. So cool!
Love your new name and look too.
Thank you for your visit and leaving a nice message.

Artistic Accents by Darla said...

Beautifully said Jenn!
Thanks for visiting :)
Darla

Anonymous said...

That was beautiful, Jenn. Thanks for being such an inspiration to all of us! Reading your blog always brightens my day.
Jannie