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Monday, April 26, 2010


My Aunt Angie is a Super Hero.

I swear it's true. I know because there have been so many times in my life when she swooped in to save me. No matter what side of the country she was living on, she'd come find me. And she'd make things all better.

There was the time when I was around 12 years old when she saved me from my feelings getting hurt. An uncle, from the other side of the family, was getting married. And invited only my brother, leaving me feeling left out. Richie was going to be in the wedding party, and no other children could go. Well, Aunt Angie wouldn't stand for that. She swooped in from Conneticut, picked me up and told me I was going on a vacation. I spent the next two weeks with her. Shopping, playing with my cousins, going to the pool. I forgot about what was going on back home without me. And I know that was her plan.

Then there was the Cabbage Patch Doll fiasco. I wanted one in the worst way. The worst way. And of course no one could get one. When Aunt Angie heard of this dilemma, she put on her cape and flew down to the toy store and found one. I waited by that mailbox every day for a week, dreaming of that doll. And when it came, I felt like the luckiest little girl in the world. I don't know how she got that doll, but she did. And my heart dances with delight, even now, when I think about it.

Then came my cancer. Everything was crazy and a mess. My mother was devastated and I am sure she felt alone. As she and her bottles of Holy Water surrounded me each morning before the surgery, I could feel her freight and loneliness. Aunt Angie listened.
The week of the biopsy results, in flies Aunt Angie. Taking me shopping. Making me laugh. Taking my mind of my own mortality for a while. It was then, that I looked over and said, you are my favorite. And I meant it with every piece of me.

She is my favorite.

And then came my divorce. I remember where I was standing when I said, Aunt Angie, I don't think I can do this anymore. I was afraid of dissapointing her. Afraid of dissapointing everyone. And then she gave me the best piece of advice I have ever been given. I'm not sure if even she remembers what she said, but in one line she said so much. She helped me to see things so much clearer. And her words also told me, she would stand by any decisions I made. And in my little world of fear and loneliness, she made me feel less fearful and lonely.

And if that isn't enough to make her into a superhero....she's been fighting her own cancer for the past 12 years. Battle after battle, chemo round after chemo round, highs and lows and all that ugly stuff in between, she wears that cape.

Right now, I'm really scared for my Aunt Angie. I wish I had that cape and could swoop in and make things better for her. I want to save her. I want to take her away on a vacation from cancer. Give her gifts that would make her heart dance. Take her mind off mortality for a while. Give her advice that could change her life.

Instead I sit here on this stupid computer, wishing I could be in California. I wish I could curl next to her on her bed. Talk about Nanny. About Taco. About shoes. About anything.

But, I can't find my cape.

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