40??

(a picture from our second Christmas as a family)

So turning 40 is turning out to be a lot harder than I thought it would be. I'm usually Miss "lucky to be here", but 40, all of sudden, is scary.

Mosty because I have no children.

Most days I'm ok with it. Most days. But occassionally, there are mornings like last Sunday morning, when I woke up, made our coffee, sat down at the table...and realized that my may mornings may always be that quiet. No little voices.

Day by day, Tom says. And I know he is right. I should live my life day by day and be grateful for every moment. He always says you never know where life may lead you. Or what suprises you may find. And I do have faith in his words. I have had many wonderful suprises in my life. Him being my best suprise.

It's not so long ago, I thought I'd be sitting at my dinner table most nights, alone. And then came Tom.

So what stops me dreaming that one day we will have a little person to share breakfast with? Only me.

And, I choose to dream.