About 12 years ago, doubt consumed much of my life. I wasn't ever sure of quite anything...and doubt made me fearful. Doubt became a decision maker in my life. And, when you doubt, you always feel everyone else knows better than you do.
And there was one situation in particular, in which I put faith in the words of another, before putting faith in the words I heard in my head. And my head was right.
I learned so much for that experience. I struggled with doing the right thing, based upon words that were truthless. And, for a while, a long while, I was broken(and parts of me still are).
But I probably would still be there, sitting on the front porch crying, had I not decided to find strength in my own words, and follow them.
I can't say I'm grateful for the experience, but I can say, I am grateful for my strength. Looking back, I'm not so sure how the strength in me, won over the faith in the other person, but it did. Why, I would often ask myself, did my strength come at exactly the time it did? Well, it's because I stopped doubting. I stopped doubting myself.
As I created this piece, I thought back to that time, and saw a different girl. A girl who was so afraid of messing up, she instead had chose to live in a mess. I can truly say, I am not that person anymore.
And I'm not saying I no longer live with doubt. I do. Everyday. I always will. But, now, I live.
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