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Thursday, August 9, 2012

Promises Change.

This is my little Saint Joseph. I keep him on my kitchen window for protection.

My Nanny's name was Josephine, so she considered St. Joseph's day, her day.  St Joseph pastries were always bought and eaten in his/her honor. 

When my Nanny passed away, I made a promise to her at her bedside telling her I would one day use her name, when I named my children. 

Lately, I've been thinking of the promise, and I've been wondering if I let her down.

Today, when I saw my little St Joseph on my window, I started thinking about the little statues and it's meaning to me.

I bought it on Ebay.  With it came a little prayer to say before you bury the statue in your yard as it is supposed to help you sell your home faster.  Two years ago, Tom and I buried the statue, said the prayer and waited. The house didn't sell.

So, instead, we decided to renovate and stay.

I didn't take Saint Joseph in until the renovations were in progress.  I couldn't leave him out there, as I felt his blessings on the sale were no longer needed.  His blessings were now needed inside.

He has been in my kitchen ever since.

I truly believe, in my heart, St. Joseph helped my house not to sell.  Because he knew it was not a good move.  I had finally found a place of Peace and to leave it behind for something "better", was not right for me.  There was no "better".  I had found home here and while yes, home would be wherever Tom and I went, I truly believe this was the home we were meant to have.  And I know my Nanny, with her St. Joseph connection, played a role in the outcome.  She would never not give her opinion on such a big decision in my life.

So, while I will not keep my promise to name a child after my Nanny(a little joe or josie as a middle name),  I've decided I haven't let her down.  I still encouraged her namesake Saint to influence a big part of my life, my home.  And in a sense, I've(we) have created our home and have watched(and watch) it grow.  So, while my promise isn't on someones birth certificate, the message is there, behind the walls that keep Tom and I and our furries safe. Safe from the elements(and I don't necessarily mean weather). 

It's funny how life works out isn't it. Some promises are made. Some promises are broken.  Some promises are changed, to fit the future.  Sometimes a promise that you make, becomes impossible to make good of, but that doesn't mean the promise was not good.  Or that your "altered" promise, isn't as beautiful as the original.

I think I kept my promise.  The intent was to make my Nanny proud and happy, based on her namesake.  And I think I've done just that.  Just, in the best way I could. 

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