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Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Still Not Right

My collar bone is still not right. I go back to the doctor tomorrow and I am actually happy to go. I guess I want to hear everything is healing accordingly.

Did you know that the first thing I thought about when I fell was that maybe my bones were too fragile? Like maybe I had cancer in them. So the day before the doctor I worked myself up something terrible. Like "non-cancer" people don't break bones. Of course they do but those cancer tapes come out whenever they know I'm weak.

It's ok though. I'm cool with it. I'm used to it. Life goes on.

I'm tired because I can't sleep in my bed. I wake up at all hours feeling like I'm in someone else's house because it's a different world out here at 4am in the living room. I feel like im in Charlie's world. I wake up to him making bread on my pillow. Sniffing my hair. He give's me a look like, why are you here? I'm sure he will be happy when I get back to my routine.

Being fragile makes you hurt...but being hurt also makes you fragile. In so many ways.

More than ever, I want to be strong.

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