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Friday, September 19, 2008

I'm Mad at Cancer

Next week is the candlelight ceremony at my dr's office for ovarian cancer. Last year my Mom and I went, and it was beautiful. There were smiles, tears and beautiful moments everywhere.

This year I thought I would make a special photograph just for the celebration. I had all intentions of making 100 of them and giving them to everyone. But, it's not going to happen.

Why? Because I'm too mad at cancer to feel like inspirational.

I've tried. I've tried everything..but nothing felt right. But it just hit me, everything feels forced because it is. If I were to make something, it wouldn't be so inspirational. It would be ugly.

I really wanted to make I really feel down on myself for not coming through.

But at the same time...I am impressed with the fact that I felt the force, and didn't do it.

I'm learning....

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